Basketball on the Edge – A Case for Nurture Over Nature by Reed Maltbie

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Great article this week from Reed Maltbie of the Changing the Game Project about how we look at our kids and youth sports. Ultimately, what do we want our children to become as they grow and mature into adults? What do we value most in our kids? Athletic success, good looks, or the type of person they are becoming as a result of our parental influence? How can youth sports play a role in developing our children into better people and what should we demand of youth sports coaches and organizations? I guarantee this article will make you think long and hard about youth sports and your own kids. I know it did for me.

“Your daughter is so beautiful.” The kind woman said, smiling at my 18-year-old daughter.

“Thanks, she got her mother’s looks.” I said reflexively. Then I cringed.

That’s my “go to response”. Anytime I receive a compliment on my daughter’s looks, I immediately reply about her genetic connection to her mother.

She did get her mom’s looks. There is no doubt. My wife and my daughter could be sisters. Regardless of how they look, that response brings a cringe each time it escapes my lips.

It’s not because of their beauty, it’s because of what I am perpetuating. My wife is intelligent, hard working, compassionate, morally upright. My wife is my role model and hero. She holds me accountable for the man I wish to be in the lives of my children. She demands excellence from herself, and our family, and ensures we all have solid values in place to create that excellence. Yet, I perpetuate the social belief that looks matter more.

My wife is an amazing human being. My daughter is following in her footsteps. She is following her in more than the looks department, and that is why I cringe when I respond in that manner.

I shouldn’t celebrate the looks. I should celebrate…

Click here to read the article by Reed Maltbie

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